


Fragile Hearts

by CanineKitten



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Sex, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-15
Updated: 2018-09-01
Packaged: 2019-06-27 23:07:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15695217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CanineKitten/pseuds/CanineKitten
Summary: About ten years after the end of the fourth shinobi world war Sasuke is injured during a mission, and he and Naruto end up parted from the others. What follows is a long overdue heart-to-heart that has the potential to change their lives.





	1. The First Night

**Author's Note:**

> This story is a self-indulgent, dialogue heavy, canon-deviant little something.
> 
> Changes from canon that you should know of beforehand:  
> \- Naruto isn’t Hokage yet although he's around thirty  
> \- There isn’t ‘world peace’; there are still threats out there  
> \- Although Naruto and Sasuke did end up marrying Hinata and Sakura respectively, this story does not follow the events from ‘The last’
> 
> The rest will be revealed during the story.

It was cold outside, but they were warm. They’d taken shelter in a small hollow in the ground underneath the roots of a gigantic tree. The sandy, dry earth on the ground of the cave was soft to lie on and there was a conveniently placed hole in the roof between the roots of the tree, so they could even light a fire inside. They’d need it because Sasuke was badly injured and needed medical attention. Naruto cursed their over-confidence letting them get separated from the rest. Sakura’s medical abilities would have come in handy now.

Naruto boiled water and helped clean Sasuke’s wounds. He’d lost a lot of blood, but not too much… Naruto hoped. At least his lesser wounds had stopped bleeding and he was still conscious. He tied the wound on Sasuke’s right thigh and had him lying down, right knee bent, so that the wound hopefully would stop bleeding. Sasuke looked pale – paler than normal, anyway - and his black cloak was drenched through with blood.

“Sakura would throw a fit if she saw you now,” Naruto said.

“She’s used to it,” Sasuke said. “But she would berate us for getting away from the others.”

“I know…”

Naruto fiddled with his sleeping bag, wondering where he should place it. Next to Sasuke, or on the other side of the fire? First they needed some food, anyway. He nagged on Sasuke until he took a few bites of the beef jerky he offered him.

“Sakura will kill me if I don’t feed you.”

“I don’t know why you assume that Sakura is my authority on these things.”

Naruto shrugged. “She just worries easily when it comes to you.”

“She knows I can manage on my own.”

“Wouldn’t think so when you hear her talk about you when you’re away from Konoha. ‘I wonder if he’s cold,’ ‘Does he eat enough?’, ‘I hope he remembers to wear the extra sweater I knitted for him’.”

“She’s never knitted me a sweater.”

“I was just making that one up. I don’t remember exactly what she said. But she worries about you.”

“Still?”

“Well… In the beginning, she did. Now she keeps it to herself, I guess.”

A moment passed in silence.

“I should probably dress the wound properly,” Naruto said. He’d only tied the bandage outside Sasuke’s pants at first, just to stop the bleeding.

“I can do it,” Sasuke said and reached down to pull off the dressing. He winced as he pulled on the wound on his right arm.

“Don’t strain yourself,” Naruto said. “I’ll do it.”

He unwrapped the makeshift bandage that he’d made out of his own cloak, and found a proper bandage in his medical kit. Then he hesitated before he gave Sasuke’s pants a meaningful look.

“You’ll, uh… need to take those off.”

Sasuke reached down and unbuttoned his pants. When he tried to sit up, Naruto stopped him.

“No… I’ll… Just relax, I’ll do it.”

Naruto hoped Sasuke couldn’t see his blush. He avoided looking at Sasuke’s face as he pulled down his pants, careful not to stress the wound. Then he tried his best not to stare inappropriately at Sasuke’s legs or his… crotch area. Why was it so difficult to keep his eyes on the wound? Dammit… He dressed it quickly.

“Is this okay?”

Sasuke just made a soft hum in affirmation.

Naruto pulled the pants back up Sasuke’s legs, until they reached the top of Sasuke’s thighs.

“Thanks,” Sasuke said, softly, and reached down to pull his pants up the rest of the way. His hand brushed Naruto’s and lingered for a moment before Naruto managed to gather his wits and pulled away.

“Yeah, uh… no problem.”

He turned towards the fire and stared into the dying flames, trying not to act as flustered as he felt. He put more wood on the fire and handed Sasuke his sleeping bag. He grabbed his own sleeping bag and, after a moment of hesitation, moved to Sasuke’s side.

“I should probably… it’ll get cold tonight, so… we should probably stay close.”

Sasuke said nothing.

Naruto shimmied into his sleeping bag and laid down on his side, facing Sasuke. Sasuke was lying on his back. His eyes were already closed. Naruto watched him. It was unusual to see Sasuke in an unguarded moment. While asleep, his face relaxed and he suddenly looked young and vulnerable. Naruto thought of Sakura who got to see him like this on the nights that they were together, and couldn’t help the small stab of jealousy.

In the end, he only had himself to blame. He was the one who was so oblivious he married Hinata when he actually felt something for someone else. Well… obliviousness, willful suppression… in the end the results were the same. He closed his eyes and tried to sleep.

 

\-----

 

He woke up what felt like minutes later because Sasuke was shaking his shoulder. At first he thought it was something serious, but Sasuke didn’t look alarmed or pained.

“You were dreaming,” he said.

“Oh…”

“You made noises.”

“I’m sorry. Did I wake you?”

“No, I was awake.”

He must be in pain, then, although he didn’t show it.

“How is the wound?”

“Better than expected.”

“Need more pain meds?”

Sasuke hesitated. Naruto took that as a yes. He reached over to grab his medical kit and didn’t realize how close he suddenly came to Sasuke until he heard the soft inhale from Sasuke right by his ear. Then he became very aware of it. He pulled back and rummaged through the kit until he found the meds.

“Do you need water?”

“Yeah,” Sasuke said. He didn’t move an inch to get the water, even though it wasn’t that far from him.

Naruto reasoned that Sasuke must be thinking of his wounds, even though it was unlike Sasuke to rely on others that way. Still, Naruto leant over him again to get the water. This time he took his time reaching for and grabbing the bottle. He was acutely aware of the fact that his chest was only a measly inch from Sasuke’s, so close that they touched when they inhaled, and that he felt Sasuke’s breath on the side of his neck.

He didn’t look at Sasuke as he pulled back, bottle in hand.

“Here.”

Sasuke took the offered water and swallowed the pills. Naruto watched him. Then he realized he was staring, and looked away. He laid back down, closer to Sasuke this time. When he placed his arm underneath his head, his elbow almost touched Sasuke’s shoulder. He wanted to kiss him. He wanted it so desperately. He closed his eyes, counted to ten.

It can’t be, he reminded himself. Sasuke is with Sakura. It wasn’t meant to be us.

How badly he regretted the decisions he made in his late teens. Why couldn’t he have been more insightful? Why did he have to be so insecure about his sexuality?

Eventually, he fell asleep.

Once again he woke up what felt like only shortly later. This time he was freezing. He felt Sasuke shudder next to him.

“Sasuke? Are you awake?”

No answer.

It was freezing in the small cave. The fire had died out. Naruto tried to get a new one started, but it was dark and he was tired and it wasn’t his forte and Sasuke was too depleted so he couldn’t ask him either. He took two blankets from their pack and snuggled closer to Sasuke and bundled them both into the blankets. Sasuke instinctively moved closer to the warmth and suddenly they were pressed tight together, side by side under the blankets.

Sasuke sighed and continued sleeping. Naruto closed his eyes and tried to not think too much about the whirlwind of emotions that coursed through him just by being so close to Sasuke.

 


	2. The Talk

The next time he woke up, Naruto understood why Sasuke shook him awake. He remembered his dream. He’d been warm and satisfied and… aroused. He’d felt the warm presence of someone next to him and somehow, in his dream, it had warped into something sexual. He’d been naked and although no one touched him in his dream, he could practically feel someone’s gaze rake over his body with appreciation. The gaze in his dreams had belonged to none other than Sasuke, something that made waking up next to him very awkward.

Sasuke didn’t say anything. He was looking at Naruto and didn’t avert his gaze when Naruto opened his eyes. Naruto felt his body go warm from head to toe. He was hard. Sasuke was so close. Had he done something stupid?

Sasuke looked away.

“Have you been awake for a long time?” Naruto asked. It was still dark outside. It was cold around them but they were warm in their cocoon of blankets.

“Woke up just now.”

_Because of you_ was implied but not said. Naruto could have died from embarrassment.

“It’s been a long time since I…” Why was he saying that? He didn’t need to explain himself. “It’s just… It’s been long… not since Hinata.”

“What happened?” Sasuke asked. “Between you and Hinata.”

“We grew apart, I guess. In the end we just agreed that we’d be better off apart.”

That was two years ago now. He had learned to get used to being alone, to manage on his own, but he had gotten a few worried comments from Shikamaru when he stayed late at the office and consumed nothing but instant ramen.

“We didn’t sleep together for the last few years.”

He wasn’t entirely sure why he was telling Sasuke this. He probably couldn’t care less about his sex life.

“So it’s been like… four years,” Naruto added.

Sasuke didn’t say anything. He probably didn’t know what to say.

“How are you and Sakura doing?” Naruto asked, mostly to just talk about something else than his own depressing situation.

It took a long moment before Sasuke answered.

“We get by, I guess. We’ve…” Sasuke hesitated. “We aren’t really together.”

“… What do you mean?”

“We’re married on the paper, but… We realized we functioned better as friends. We stay together because of Sarada.”

“Oh… wow… I… I didn’t know…”

“We thought it was best to keep it secret. It seemed simpler.”

“Yeah, I… ah… I can see that.”

Naruto wasn’t entirely sure why he felt so betrayed. He’d thought he was close to them, that they told him everything. But they had both kept something very important from him. Still, it wasn’t really his business what they did within the four walls of their home.

Though it changed a lot…

He wished he’d known sooner. He’d thought Sasuke was taken all this time. Not that it mattered. Sasuke was obviously… _apparently_ straight…

“So… You and Hinata just… grew apart?”

Why was Sasuke suddenly so interested in Naruto and Hinata’s relationship? Naruto had thought that he didn’t care much about it. He’d never asked about it before, and after Naruto married Hinata, Sasuke practically closed Naruto out of his life for a while. He got married to Sakura without telling Naruto. Naruto had to learn from Sakura that the two of them were expecting a child.

“Yeah… It was puppy love, I guess. Never turned into something more. And then…” He paused. Truth was, he’d been incapable of faking anymore. Being together with a woman he didn’t love, playing house, pretending everything was okay… It had slowly but surely propelled him into a depression. The fact that he knew that he was suppressing and hiding a very important side of himself – his sexuality – didn’t help further. And besides… he knew he was in love with someone else. It had dawned on him slowly, but as soon as he realized, his current life had felt like a prison. He just had to get out.

“I loved someone else,” he said. He wondered what it was about this cave that made him so candid. “I still do. I love someone else.”

They got quiet, the both of them. The cave was lit up only by a small lantern. Naruto looked at Sasuke, who looked away.

“Whom?”

“… Just… Just someone.”

“Someone you know well?”

“I like to think so.”

“… Sakura?”

Naruto laughed. “No. Not her.”

Sasuke turned towards Naruto, looked at him for a long moment.

“Is it me?”

Naruto could swear his heart jumped into his throat.

He got quiet, his eyes fixed on Sasuke’s face, desperately searching for any hint of reaction. Sasuke was staring at Naruto with the same intentness. He understood. Naruto could see it in his eyes. He understood what Naruto felt for him. In that moment he saw it. It must be clear as day in Naruto’s eyes, for he felt the love so strongly in that moment. He wanted to hide it, but he couldn’t. Sasuke’s expressionlessness became too much at last, and Naruto looked away.

“For how long?” Sasuke asked.

“What do you think?” Naruto bit out. “It wasn’t obvious to you? That I felt something more?”

“You kept calling me your friend,” Sasuke said coldly. “How could I tell whether you felt something more than that?”

“I…” Naruto rubbed his forehead. “I don’t know. I wasn’t even aware of my own… I wouldn’t have handled it, back then.”

“You’re not exactly handling it right now either.”

“Well, I’m trying, okay?”

“I’m the one who had to drag it out of you.”

“And what do _you_ feel about it all?”

Naruto sat up and stared down at Sasuke.

“What do you _feel_ , Sasuke? Do you even feel?”

He knew he’d gone too far the second the words were out of his mouth. Sasuke stared at him like he’d slapped him.

“I’m sorry,” Naruto said. “That was low…”

“No…” Sasuke struggled into a sitting position, and shoved away Naruto’s helping hand. “It’s a perfectly valid question. And yes, I do feel, believe it or not.”

“You know I didn’t mean it-“

“I love you too. Always have.”

Naruto gaped. Sasuke was staring intently down on the ground.

“What I needed the most from you, after I came back to Konoha… what I needed was to know whether you felt the same or not. I thought you did. You dedicated so much of your time to me. You kept ensuring me that you’d stand by me no matter what. But then I turned away for a second, and you used the first and best opportunity to jump into wedlock with… with that little… who was she, even? When did you have time to develop any feelings for her? Why didn’t I see it coming?”

“It happened really fast… I didn’t have time to understand what was happening either. It just… It seemed right… It was what everyone was doing, so… and Sakura was waiting for you. I thought that it was how it was supposed to be, I guess. That it was just how it went, what was expected.”

“You did a fucking good job playing into people’s expectations, then.”

There was bitterness in Sasuke’s voice, layered thick. Naruto knew that something bad had happened the second Sasuke learned about his marriage to Hinata, he just didn’t know what. He couldn’t have imagined that Sasuke had cut him off because he was in love with him. That had just seemed too farfetched. 

“I believed you were happy,” Sasuke said. “That way I could move on too.”

“Did you? Move on?”

Sasuke looked at him then, with all the sorrow and grief and guilt that was stored within him.

“Move on?” His laugh was hoarse and short. “Usuratonkachi.”

Naruto smiled when he heard the old nickname. It was soothing in it’s own, strange way. It told him that not all was lost.


	3. The Next Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've actually had this chapter done for a while, but I've had some computer trouble so I didn't get to post it until now T_T The next chapter is almost done so I'll post it in a few days. Since the chapters are so short, there'll be at least five chapters, maybe six ^^

The next morning Naruto went outside to see if he could find their teammates. Sasuke couldn’t travel when his wounds were as severe as they were now, no matter how he insisted that he’d be okay. So Naruto left him there while he took a walk around the perimeter and hoped he wouldn’t do anything stupid. The forest was quiet and empty, almost a little too quiet. Naruto climbed the tallest tree he could find and sat down to meditate. Shortly after, he was in sage mode. He scanned the surrounding area for familiar chakras, but couldn’t find anything. They must really have gotten far away from the others. The forest stretched out as far as he could see. It was seemingly endless. There was no hint of civilization anywhere. It seemed they’d just have to stay where they were for a little while longer, at least until Sasuke’s wounds mended a little.

Naruto caught a fish on his way back and collected some water from a nearby creek. They would need all the extra energy they could get.

“Did you find anything?” Sasuke asked once Naruto reached the cave. He was sitting outside it, in the sandy hillside, in the shade of some of the roots. Naruto wanted to berate him for moving, but then he realized there was no point. He couldn’t keep Sasuke holed up the entire day.

“We’re in the middle of nowhere,” Naruto said, and set down the bottle of water and the fish. “I can’t sense the others at all, they must be far away.”

“Probably caught up in the fight.”

And here they sat, unable to help them in the least.

“You should go,” Sasuke said. “They need you more than I do.”

“I can’t leave you.”

“I’ll manage.”

“And who’ll be here to help you when you exert yourself and bleed to death?”

Sasuke glared up at him. “Now you sound like Sakura.”

“Someone needs to be your voice of reason.”

“What an irony that it turned out to be you.”

“Just goes to show how low you’ve sunk.”

Naruto chuckled when Sasuke rolled his eyes. But he didn’t let Naruto have the last word.

“You should leave,” Sasuke insisted.

Naruto set to stack kindling for a fire in the sand outside the cave.

“And who’ll make you food? And make sure you live?”

“I’m injured, not invalid.”

“How will you get yourself to the creek to get water?”

Sasuke had no answer for that.

“I can’t leave you,” Naruto said. “And for now the others will manage fine without us. They’ll pull back and regroup. They’re not completely helpless without us.”

Sasuke snorted.

“Don’t be a dick,” Naruto said.

He skewered the fish on a stick that he’d sharpened with a kunai, and leant it over the fire.

“One fish? That’s all you managed to bring back?”

“That creek was almost as dead as the rest of this forest! Just be glad you’re getting anything to eat.”

They sat in silence while they waited for the food to be done. Not an uncomfortable silence. After working together for as long as they had, they had learned to identify each others moods even when nothing was being said, and this was a comfortable kind of silence, the type they fell into when they were both satisfied with being exactly where they were, with each other, at that moment. Naruto loved those moments. He was trying his best not to ruin it by thinking of what had been said that night, and he was surprised when it was Sasuke who chose to breach the subject first.

“Are we not gonna talk about it?”

“About what?”

“You know what I mean.”

Naruto did, but he wished he didn’t.

He shrugged.

“What is there to say?”

Sasuke stared at him. “I can’t believe you’re saying that to _me_.”

Naruto chuckled. “Me neither.”

“Where did we go wrong?” Sasuke said.

“A long time ago.”

“For how long did you know?”

“Uh… I’m not sure. I realized sometime after Himawari was born that I couldn’t keep up the charade, but I’m not entirely sure when I realized that it was a charade. Maybe I knew it all along, but I told myself it was just… Just how everyone felt. You know, everyone is a bit nervous and uncertain about a new relationship. I just… I didn’t know how love was supposed to feel.”

He realized as he said it that it wasn’t entirely true. He had known how it felt to love, even back then. It was just that he didn’t realize that what he thought was platonic love actually wasn’t. How could he know what romantic love was when he had felt it but named it something else?

“I thought I loved her,” he said. “I _did_ love her. But like a friend.”

The irony was not lost on him. Sasuke didn’t say anything, but it was obvious what he was thinking. Naruto was thinking the exact same thing. He’d married his friend while turning his romantic interest away on the grounds of calling him a friend.

“What about you?” Naruto asked. “How long did you know?”

“I guess I can’t boast much more brainpower than you in that aspect. I realized the day we fought.” He didn’t specify which fight. He didn’t need to. They never spoke of it in specified terms, but they had an unspoken mutual agreement that their last fight was ‘the fight’, and their first fight was just… never mentioned.

“Though, I didn’t truly understand it until you got married. Then I realized I’d been waiting for something that I hadn’t been able to put words to, but that I’d anticipated all the same. I think I… I thought we were on the same page, although I had no idea what page that was. I just assumed we’d continue to stick together.”

“I’m sorry,” Naruto said. Back then he hadn’t realized how much damage his choices had created, but he hadn’t been alone in ruining their relationship. Sasuke had been just as much at fault by leaving Konoha, and Naruto, so abruptly. Naruto knew now why Sasuke had left, and how important it had been for him to get away. Sakura had told Naruto a few years ago that for a time she feared for Sasuke’s life. Not because he couldn’t defend himself against enemies, but because he stood powerless before the one enemy who posed the largest threat to him: himself.

Naruto hadn’t believed it at first, but as he started paying attention; started really seeing Sasuke, he realized that it was true. He had lost so much and unlike Naruto, he didn’t have the optimistic nature that could help him bear such a loss.

Naruto knew he’d been ignorant. Knew he could have done more. But back then he had his own issues. It wasn’t so easy to for him to see Sasuke’s issues as well, especially when some of the reason Naruto had spent less time with him in those days was because of the turmoil of confusing feelings he brought up in him. In his desperation to get away from his own demons, he’d left Sasuke behind.

He wished he could tell Sasuke all this in simple wordings, but there was no way he could encompass such intricate feelings in mere words.

“I’m sorry.”

It would have to do.

“I should apologize too,” Sasuke said. “I…” He hesitated. “I didn’t pay enough attention to you either.”

“It’s okay,” Naruto hurried to say. “You weren’t…” He cut himself off.

Sasuke stared at him. Naruto turned the fish so that he had a reason not to meet Sasuke’s gaze.

“Sane?” Sasuke said. “Is that what you wanted to say? It’s okay, because I wasn’t sane?"

“You never were,” Naruto joked. “Never mind… Pretend I didn’t say that.”

“It’s not like I’m incapable of hearing the truth,” Sasuke said. “I know I wasn’t… at my best.”

That was a nice way of saying it...

“But you don’t need to excuse me because of it,” Sasuke continued. “I had just as much responsibility in matters as you did. I guess we can just agree that we both made mistakes and be done with it.”

It wasn’t often that they spoke about Sasuke’s mental state. Naruto knew preciously little of it. All he knew was that since Orochimaru got his hands on Sasuke, he’d not been himself. Well, he’d been himself, but at the same time not. Naruto didn’t to this day know if Sasuke had been honestly serious about killing him the entire time, or if he had told himself that he was enough times to actually start believing it. Either way, it didn’t bother Naruto. It might sound strange, but it didn’t. Not in the slightest. His friends thought he and Sakura were crazy. They thought they suffered from the irrational and naïve acceptance that occurred when you loved someone too much. But it wasn’t that way. Naruto didn’t sugarcoat Sasuke’s faults, and neither did Sakura. He loved him despite them, and something within him… some gentle, unfathomable thing knew that Sasuke wouldn’t have tried to do what he did if it weren’t for the fact that he loved too much.

Naruto took a deep breath and shook himself from his reverie. He realized he had zoned out and forgotten to respond to what Sasuke had said.

“Yes,” he said. “Yeah, okay, let’s just settle it at that.”

Sasuke gave him a long, unfathomable gaze, but said nothing.


	4. Night Terrors

They slept in the cave that night too. Without saying a word or making a big business out of it they huddled close together to preserve warmth and fell asleep next to each other. Sasuke fell asleep fast. He had gotten paler and paler as the day wore on, even with the pain meds. He must be exhausted from sitting up and staying awake for so long, but his pride kept him from admitting weakness and go to bed too early. Naruto had pretended to be the one who needed the sleep. He stretched and yawned loudly. When he retreated into the cave, Sasuke followed.

Naruto had just dozed off when he woke up again. He was uncertain what had awoken him until Sasuke suddenly jolted. His breath caught in his throat in something that sounded like a whimper. Naruto reached out, uncertain what to do but feeling he had to do something. He touched Sasuke’s shoulder. Sasuke flinched and murmured something in a soft, broken voice. Naruto clenched his arm.

“Sasuke… Sasuke, wake up…”

Sasuke’s eyes flew up. He sat up with a jolt and then he flinched as he pulled at his wounds. He was panting like he’d just been out running. His shirt was drenched through with sweat. He looked around like he was confused about where he found himself. Then he saw Naruto and calmed down.

“It was a dream,” Naruto said.

Sasuke closed his eyes tight and took deep breaths.

“I thought I was…”

His hand clenched over his chest, twisting into his shirt.

Naruto reached over and fetched a bottle of water. He handed it to Sasuke, who drank deeply from it. Then he offered him pain meds, which Sasuke also took. He was pale and his forehead was dotted with sweat. In the dim darkness of the cave, Naruto felt bold. He reached out and brushed a sweaty lock of hair from Sasuke’s forehead.

“I’m here,” he said. “It’s okay.”

To his astonishment, Sasuke slumped and leant his head on Naruto’s shoulder. Naruto put his arms around him and held him close. He stroked his hair and caressed the sweaty nape of his neck. They lay down, still close together, Sasuke with his head on Naruto’s chest. The sound and feel of Naruto’s beating heart seemed to calm him down. Soon they were both asleep.

 

\----

 

Sasuke insisted that he was feeling well enough to travel the next day. They agreed that they’d start making their way in the direction of the closest rendezvous place. The going was slow, but they put behind them a few miles that day. They started looking for a good place to camp around sunset. They didn’t have any tents and the nights were cold, so a cave would be referable. Sasuke was getting tired (he didn’t say so, but Naruto could tell), and there was no suitable cave anywhere nearby.

“Just sit down here for a while,” Naruto gestured towards the root of a huge tree. “I’ll climb up an get a better overview.”

He scouted out a wide area around where he left Sasuke, and finally found a cave in the side of a grassy hill. It looked like some animal had once inhabited it, maybe a bear, but that had to be a while ago. He went back to get Sasuke. They wouldn’t be able to make a campfire inside since the smoke had no place to go, but the cave was warm and snug, and huddled together in their blankets they managed to keep the warmth.

Once again Naruto woke up in the middle of the night, confused and disoriented, and once again it took him a second to realize what had woken him up. It was Sasuke again. He was twitching and whimpering in his sleep. Naruto, still a little sleep-confused, just started rubbing his back gently like he would have done to his kids.

“So, so,” he murmured.

Sasuke gasped. Then he sat up so abruptly that he almost knocked over Naruto, who was leaning on his elbow. The cave roof was so low that when they sat up their heads almost grazed it, and the walls were so close that they could reach easily across from one wall to the other if they sat in the middle and stretched out their arms. This did nothing to stop Sasuke’s panic. He clawed at the wall, confused, frightened, and unable to focus on Naruto, on the present. He was still halfway in his nightmare.

“Sasuke,” Naruto said, then, raising his voice, “It’s me! Hey, look.”

He grabbed Sasuke’s shoulders. “Look at me. It’s me, I’m here. It’s okay.”

Sasuke finally focused on him. He calmed down, but was still breathing heavily.

“Fuck…” he muttered.

He lifted his right arm to rub his forehead, and Naruto’s attention was drawn to the freshly opened wound that bled through his bandages.

“Your wound opened… Lay down, I’ll fix it.”

Sasuke did as told. He seemed exhausted. Naruto was careful as he took off the bandage and cleaned the wound. Sasuke had his eyes closed and a slight frown on his forehead, but he didn’t make a sound. Naruto tied him up with fresh bandages and lay down next to him again.

“Do you have nightmares often?” he murmured.

It took a while before Sasuke answered. Naruto thought maybe he didn’t want to talk about it.

“It’s because of the caves, I think. The cramped space… being underground…”

“Oh…” Naruto didn’t like the implications of that. “So… Had any bad cave-experiences?”

He tried to laugh but it sounded so forced that he stopped immediately.

Sasuke snorted. “I suppose you could say so.”

It was apparent he didn’t want to say anything else about it.

Naruto was lying on his side while Sasuke was lying on his back. Naruto studied Sasuke for a moment. He looked like he was asleep… Naruto placed a hand on his chest. He was wearing a short-sleeved shirt of dark fabric that clung to his body. Naruto had tried really hard not to stare while he changed his bandages that evening, and then again now. He shuffled closer, close enough that he could have leant his chin on Sasuke’s shoulder, had he wanted to.

Sasuke turned his head so that he was facing Naruto.

They didn’t speak, they just looked at each other, but somehow they both knew that they wanted the same thing, that it was okay to lean closer, to almost bump noses, to gently nuzzle closer until their lips met.

Sasuke closed his eyes. Naruto thought he heard him expel the softest sigh as their lips touched. When Naruto pulled away, only far enough to watch Sasuke’s face, Sasuke still had his eyes closed, but this time they were clenched shut. A frown marred his forehead.

Naruto instinctively reached up to smooth it out.

“Was it that bad?”

Sasuke opened his eyes and shook his head. His eyes were slightly moist.

Naruto didn’t ask more. He kissed him again. It was good in a way he couldn’t explain. Kissing Hinata had been nothing but pleasant in comparison. This was so good he never wanted to stop. He wanted to kiss Sasuke everywhere. He couldn’t get enough of him. Every tiny little part of his body needed to be explored, every part of sensitive skin needed to be sought out and caressed. He’d never felt something like this before. If this was how it was supposed to be, then he’d really missed out.

The kiss turned desperate and needy, they panted and clutched each other. Naruto snuck one hand under Sasuke’s shirt. Sasuke did the same to him, touching and caressing his warm skin.

“I love you,” Naruto murmured between kisses. “I love you.”

He felt nearly delirious. He was shaky with the powerful sensations rolling through him. He heard Sasuke draw in a soft breath when he lowered himself on top of him. Sasuke tried to pull Naruto’s shirt off with only one hand, but succeeded only partly. Naruto was too busy keeping their bodies as close together as possible to help him. He held Sasuke’s cheek with one hand, and kept himself elevated over him with the other. He kissed him like he’d never kissed anyone before, like he was his source of air, like he’d fall apart if he let go. Finally he was too breathless and his lips too sore to keep going. He felt reason come back to him in small measures. He rested his cheek on Sasuke’s collarbone, and listened to his heart hammering like it was trying to break free. He lifted his shirt a bit and kissed the skin right over his heart. Sasuke groaned softly and carded his fingers through the hair at the nape of Naruto’s neck.

Naruto became aware of how he was wedged neatly between Sasuke’s legs and could feel every inch of his body pressed against his own. He got to his knees and laid down next to Sasuke instead, in order to give them both some space. It had been a little too much all at once. Sasuke drew his hand over his face. He was still trying to catch his breath.

“Uh, so…” Naruto rubbed the back of his head. “Was that okay…?”

How was he even supposed to proceed after this? He kinda knew how to go about it with a girl, but with Sasuke… he was a friend and a guy and… there were no rules for that as far as Naruto knew. Were they supposed to go on dates? Should he invite him to dinner? The idea struck him as a bit stupid. Not the inviting him out part, but the idea that he should court him when he already knew him so well…

“Yeah… You’re better at it than I’d have guessed,” Sasuke said.

Okay, so that was how they were going to go handle it. Naruto could deal with that. He punched Sasuke’s shoulder.

“I’ll have you know, I’m an expert at these things.”

“Hm… And here I thought it was a stroke of luck.”

“You…!” 

Naruto descended on Sasuke, shaking him lightly, still mindful of his wound, but Sasuke flipped them around and suddenly he was on top of Naruto. Naruto just stared up at Sasuke and felt very keenly the desire that he’d been trying to keep down, come to the surface again.

“Don’t get ahead of yourself,” Sasuke said, “before you know what you’re up against.”

Naruto was at a loss of words for a second.

“I think I finally understand what Sakura and Ino was on about all those years ago,” he muttered.

Sasuke frowned. “What are you talking about?”

Naruto just grinned. “Nothing.”

He pulled Sasuke down for a kiss, which he willingly succumbed to. Naruto used the chance to get the upper hand again. The kisses were slower now, sweeter.

“We need to sleep,” Sasuke said after a while.

“I know…”

Naruto didn’t want to stop, but they needed the sleep if they were going to continue early tomorrow. They snuggled close and fell asleep deeply content in each other’s arms.


	5. The Fourth Night

“How did you and Sakura end up together?” Naruto asked as they filled their water bottles in a creek. They were on the move again. It was early morning and the sun had barely risen.

Naruto had always wondered about how Sasuke, who’d seemed so uninterested in Sakura, suddenly had ended up with her, but he hadn’t dared to ask after Sasuke got so cold towards him. 

“After you got married, she was my closest friend,” Sasuke said. “We tried to start a relationship but we were careless and she got pregnant. So we married.”

“Romantic.”

“It was the right thing to do.”

“But did it make you happy?”

“I wasn’t ready for a child back then, and I weren’t in love with Sakura then either, so no, it didn’t make me happy. I don’t think it made them happy either. Sakura was miserable until she finally realized she didn’t love me anymore. We became closer friends after that. Sarada… I can never make up to her for the years at the start of her life when I was absent. I didn’t…” He cut off.

“You didn’t…?” Naruto asked the question carefully, afraid that he was overstepping his boundaries.

Sasuke shook his head. “In the beginning I didn’t… I didn’t see her as my child.”

“Oh…” Naruto couldn’t imagine how that was possible.

“You’re judging me,” Sasuke said.

“No, I’m just… I guess I don’t really understand.”

“There’s nothing to understand. I was in a different place then than I am now. It’s just how it turned out. I can’t take that back now, and… I suppose it is one of the reasons I stayed with Sakura for so long.”

Naruto stopped.

“Sasuke…”

Sasuke looked at him, mildly curious if nothing else. Naruto came closer to him.

“Would you leave her?” Naruto placed a hand on Sasuke’s shoulder, then he lifted it to stroke his jaw with his thumb. “To live with me?”

Sasuke was quiet for a moment before he reached up to grab Naruto’s hand. He squeezed it gently. “Yes.”

Naruto looked up at him only to find the gentlest expression he’d ever seen on Sasuke’s face. “In an instant. If you want me to.”

Naruto nodded. He gave Sasuke a shaky smile. “Yeah,” he said. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

 

\-----

 

They finally reached a small town in the afternoon. Sasuke had been able to travel farther than yesterday, but he looked pale and tired when they reached the town. Naruto ordered them a room and then he went out to buy them some food.

Sasuke was lying in bed when he came back.

“Are you okay?” Naruto asked. He set the food down by the bed.

“Yeah… Just tired.”

“You overexerted yourself,” Naruto said, unable to rid the accusation from his voice.

He pulled Sasuke’s jacket to the side so he could see the wound on his arm. “It bled through.”

He got Sasuke some more painkillers, and redressed his wounds. This time he didn’t try to pretend that he wasn’t appreciating the sight of Sasuke’s toned chest under the shirt.

“Maybe you should fix the other bandage too,” Sasuke said innocently. “I’m not sure I can do it myself right now.”

Naruto needed to see to that wound anyway, so he played along. He pulled down Sasuke’s pants all the way, and started working on the bandage. He made sure his fingers brushed Sasuke’s skin as often as he got the chance. The memory of their heated kisses last night were still very fresh in him mind. The wound seemed to be healing fine, so he just applied a compress.

They had rented a twin room, but the mattresses were placed close next to each other. Naruto took the steaming cups of ramen from the paper bag he’d placed by Sasuke’s mattress, gave one to Sasuke and leaned against the wall on his side of the bed while he ate. He was starved. He’d barely eaten anything but that fish he caught what seemed like ages ago, and dried provisions. The ramen tasted heavenly.

Sasuke placed the bowl between his legs, on top of the sheet, and held the chopsticks gingerly with his injured arm.

“You didn’t find something that was more difficult for me to eat?”

Naruto rolled his eyes.

“Stop complaining and be happy you’re finally getting some decent food.”

Sasuke muttered something that sounded like ‘hardly decent’, but he too was hungry and he continued eating without complaining.

It was dark outside by the time they were done eating. They talked a little about how to proceed the next day. They were getting close to the rendezvous spot, but Naruto didn’t want Sasuke to exert himself too much by traveling there too fast.

“You won’t be any help, anyway, with your injuries.”

“But they’ll need you.”

“Again; they’ll manage without me for another day.”

Sasuke didn’t continue the argument. He must be really tired.

“Let’s get some sleep,” Naruto said.

They curled up next to each other and fell asleep quickly. At least, Naruto did. He woke up again sometime during the night, which had become his wont to do the last few days, and felt someone caress his cheek.

“S’ke…?”

Sasuke’s hand retreated.

“Don’t stop,” Naruto murmured.

After a moment of hesitation, Sasuke resumed his caresses.

“Can’t sleep?” Naruto asked.

“No.”

“Need pain meds.”

“No.”

Sasuke’s thumb trailed down to Naruto’s lower lip and thumbed it gently. Now Naruto was starting to become more awake. Sasuke’s finger lingered, then it trailed down to Naruto’s chin as Sasuke leant in to place his lips where his finger had just been. 

"Do you ever feel like we've wasted the time we could have had together?" Naruto murmured after Sasuke pulled back.

"Maybe... But I've got a feeling that we couldn't have been together like this before, even if we'd been honest about our feelings."

"... I guess...."

"I would have left anyway. I didn't have room for anyone else in my life back then..."

Naruto caressed Sasuke's cheek.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there for you."

Sasuke grasped his hand and held it tight. He lifted his knuckles to his lips and pressed a closed lipped kiss to them.

Naruto felt his heart clench at the though that he hadn't been there for Sasuke during his toughest time. He leant forward and pressed a desperate kiss to his lips. Sasuke answered by moving his lips against Naruto's. He opened his mouth a little and Naruto jumped at the invitation immediately. He swept his tongue along the seam of Sasuke's lips, and tasted the salty residues of the ramen they'd had earlier.

"Mmm... You and ramen... My two favorite things."

A surprised laugh escaped Sasuke. Naruto chuckled, giddy that he’d managed to make Sasuke laugh.

"Sasuke..."

"Mhm."

"Would you like to... I mean... Do you want to..." He swallowed. He suddenly felt bashful. "I just... I thought that maybe you wanted to...."

Sasuke reached out and squeezed his arm in a show of assurance.

Naruto took a calming breath. "I just want to, um, sleep with you.... Now... If you want to?"

There was a long moment of silence wherein Naruto got the time to go over every word he'd said and worry that he'd been too forward. It's too early, he thought. We've barely gotten used to all this yet...

But then Sasuke reached out and grabbed him by the front of his t-shirt, and pulled him into a hard and sudden kiss. Naruto gasped. He returned the kiss as soon as he got his bearings. In his eagerness, Sasuke had dragged Naruto down with him so that he ended up draped halfway over Sasuke. It didn't take long before they were in a frenzy to get each other's clothes off. Naruto had pulled down Sasuke's boxers before he had the time to even consider that perhaps he should be asking... Perhaps they shouldn’t be moving forward so fast... But Sasuke was just as eager as him. He pulled Naruto's shirt over his head with such force that if Naruto hadn't helped him along it would have thorn. Then Sasuke was fumbling with the opening of Naruto's pants, and Naruto was trying his best to explore Sasuke's mouth with his tongue while he tried to help him. Somehow, they managed to free his cock, and then Sasuke's hand was around his length and they both gasped.

Sasuke let go of him, much to Naruto's chagrin, but only to shift so that his legs were spread, hooking one leg over Naruto's hip and pulling him in to make him lie between them. Naruto was all too eager to please. He undulated against Sasuke, squeezing their cocks together under the weight of his belly.

Sasuke carded his fingers through Naruto's hair, clawed at his scalp.

"Put it in me."

Naruto could hardly believe his own ears, but his cock believed him all right. It jolted, sending a spark of desire up Naruto's spine. Naruto didn't stop to question Sasuke. He was too worried that questions would change his mind.

There was only one thing he needed to ask before they could go on.

"...Lube...?"

"There should be something in the medical supplies."

"Yeah... Yeah, okay... But..." He couldn't believe he was taking up objections against this, but someone had to take responsibility here. "Condoms?"

For a moment all he could hear was Sasuke's labored breathing.

"Just... Just look in the medical supplies..."

Naruto got up and shuffled through the darkness in search for the elusive little bag. He'd had it there just a few hours ago, when he fixed Sasuke's wounds. He found the light switch to the bedside lamp, and turned it on. The bag of medical supplies wasn't far away. He rifled through it. There was a small jar of vaseline, but could there really be condoms in there?

"Yess!"

He returned to Sasuke with the vaseline and one condom.

"Those who make these really think of everything..."

Now that the light was on, he got the chance to study Sasuke. He was still wearing his sleeveless shirt, but it was pushed up to expose his stomach. Otherwise, he was naked, and what a beautiful sight he made. His cock was hard and flushed and resting against his stomach. One knee was hitched up, the sole of his foot resting on the bedding, and the other leg was slightly bent to the side.

"What are you staring at, moron," Sasuke said in a low, affectionate voice.

"Just perusing my catch."

He leant down and placed a kiss on Sasuke's lips. It felt so nice to be able to just do that... He wasn't entirely sure he'd ever get used to it... To seeing Sasuke tilt his head up slightly to accept his kiss and feel his lips part under his. The whole part with him being naked and eager to have Naruto fuck him... That was just another level of unbelievable. Naruto wasn't entirely sure he'd taken it all in yet, but he wasn't about to stop to let it sink in now.

He kneeled between Sasuke's legs and placed the vaseline and the condom on the cover. Then he just stared as if mesmerized at Sasuke's cock and ass, and wondered how the fuck he was supposed to proceed.

He picked up the vaseline, but then just remained sitting there, frozen.

"Yeah, okay... I don't really know what to do..."

"Just... Give me that."

Sasuke took the vaseline from Naruto's hand, coated his fingers, and pressed two of them gently to his asshole. Naruto couldn't take his eyes away from the sight. He rubbed his cock while he watched Sasuke loosening himself with quick, sure fingers.

After a moment, Sasuke pulled his fingers out and laid back.

"I'm ready."

Naruto fumbled with the condom. It slipped from his fingers a few times before he could tear it open. He pulled it onto his cock with slightly shaky fingers. Then he shuffled closer to Sasuke until he could press the tip of his cock to Sasuke's asshole.

He bit his lip and took a deep breath.

"Don't be mad at me if I come too soon."

Sasuke snorted. "How can that not make me mad?"

"Just... Just stop looking so damned good."

He pushed inside a little, effectively stopping both of their mouths. He leant forward with a quiet groan. He felt Sasuke draw in a sharp breath, but he wasn't sure if it was in pleasure or in pain. He waited a second before he pushed in further. Sasuke was tight around him, but he gave easily when Naruto started thrusting. Jerkily at first, he was worried he'd hurt Sasuke, and the sensations were overpowering, even though he was barely inside him.

"Sasuke... Sasuke..."

"Don't tell me you're coming," Sasuke gasped.

"No... hah... No, I'm good... Fucking good..." He chuckled breathily.

He stretched out his legs so that he got better leverage, and hooked one arm under Sasuke's injured leg, so he didn't have to struggle with holding it up. When he put his weight down on Sasuke again, shoving himself deeper, Sasuke made a choked sound that sounded suspiciously much like a moan. Naruto realized that Sasuke was feeling all this just as strongly as he did, despite the fact that his cock wasn't stimulated.

Naruto had never lent much thought to how anal sex would feel, but he'd always had a notion that it couldn't be very good. Which was another reason why he was so relieved Sasuke wanted to take it, the first reason being that it'd always been a treasured fantasy of his to be able to do exactly what he now were doing with Sasuke.

But seeing and hearing Sasuke now, he realized that he was honestly enjoying it a lot and it made every sensation so much more powerful for Naruto. He put more leverage behind each thrust, which made Sasuke's mouth open in a soft gasp.

"Good?" Naruto panted.

"Yeah," Sasuke gasped, his voice pitching slightly. "Yes, good... Ahhh..."

Naruto was getting more confident now. He realized he didn't need to treat Sasuke as though he was porcelain. He could take a lot more. As a matter of fact, the harder Naruto thrust, the more appreciative sounds he garnered from Sasuke. It didn't take long before he was ramming into Sasuke with all the power he had with each thrust, and he was so concentrated about gaining another moan, another soft gasp, another high pitched groan from Sasuke that he hardly thought about his own pleasure. Sasuke became the center of his world, like he'd always meant to be, and he wasn't satisfied until he could push Sasuke over the edge in a gasping, writhing mess. And he did.

Sasuke's hand was clawing his back, and his head was thrown back. His chest was quivering with shuddering breaths and Naruto's name dropped half-formed from his lips. He seized up and his asshole fluttered around Naruto's cock. Naruto groaned just as Sasuke did. For a second they felt like one and the same, moving in perfect sync, knowing what the other needed in each moment. Naruto held still as Sasuke wound down, then he pulled out as carefully as he could. Sasuke became pliant and languid. He sunk down onto the mattress and sprawled without care for how he looked. It didn't matter, he looked stunning anyway.

Naruto laid down next to Sasuke.

"You didn't finish," Sasuke murmured. His hand snuck down to grip Naruto's cock. “And you worried you’d come too soon.”

Naruto blushed. “I have pretty good stamina, I was just worried… with the first time between us and everything…”

He groaned. Sasuke’s hand moved up and down his cock, his palm circling the sensitive head. Naruto closed his eyes. He felt Sasuke’s lips press gently to his.

“Look at me.”

Naruto did. He looked into Sasuke’s eyes the entire time, until he rolled over the edge of a slow and powerful orgasm. Sasuke caught every drop of his come in the palm of his hand. Then he leant over and kissed Naruto again, his tongue begging entrance and caressing Naruto’s.

Sasuke moved away from Naruto for a second, but it was only to find some discarded cloth to clean his hand with. He was back by Naruto’s side a moment later and laid down close to him. 

"I think I'm in heaven," Naruto murmured. Then he chuckled. "I can't believe we just had sex."

He placed his hand over Sasuke’s atop the cover.

“So this is really happening? Me and you?”

“Yeah… Can I move in with you when we get back to Konoha?”

Naruto was surprised by the sudden question.

“Yeah, sure.” He grinned. He liked the thought of living with Sasuke. “That’d be great.”

 

\-----

 

The next morning they woke up early, but remained beside each other on the bed, drinking in the calmness of the morning and the memory of last night activities.

Naruto sidled up to Sasuke and placed his hand on his chest.

“Hey, Sasuke? I took your ass' cherry,” he said with a grin.

“No.”

“What do you mean, no? I did! Didn’t I?”

Sasuke shook his head.

“Then… Who did?”

“That doesn’t matter.”

“No, hold on… It does matter! I want to know… I thought you’d only been with Sakura this whole time.”

“I have.”

Sasuke wasn’t making any sense.

“Then who fucked you?”

Sasuke’s cheeks were turning a cute shade of pink. “I just told you.”

“No you didn’t, you just said… You don’t mean… Sakura didn’t…?”

Now there definitely was a blush on Sasuke’s face.

“No way… She fucked you with, like, a strap-on?”

“Can we not talk about this?”

“Wait, wait… Was it she who wanted it?”

“We both wanted it."

“Wow... I'd never have thought... But didn't you say that you guys were just friends?”

“We tried different things but eventually we found out we were better off as friends.”

“So she would have no hard feelings about you and me?”

“I don’t know. I guess we should introduce it to her carefully.”

Naruto groaned. “I’m so dead.”

“She gave her blessing for me to pursue other relationships, as I did with her.”

Naruto placed his cheek on Sasuke’s chest.

“Now I can’t help but picture you two.”

“That’s my wife you’re talking about.”

“Oh, come on! You said yourself that you’re just friends now.”

“And I don’t like it when men have lecherous thoughts about my friend… who’s also my wife.”

“You two should get your relationship sorted out. I’m not gonna stand around if she decides to pummel me because she secretly still has feelings for you.”

Sasuke carded his fingers through Naruto’s hair.

“We’ll figure it out,” he said. He kissed the top of his head. “I’m not letting her kill you now that I’ve finally got you for my own.”

Naruto leant his chin on Sasuke’s chest so he could see his face.

“Reassuring.”

He pecked Sasuke’s lips.

“Now we should probably get along and save our friends.”

Sasuke nodded. He leant in to kiss Naruto one more time.

“I love you, you know,” he murmured.

Naruto felt like time stopped for a moment. He couldn’t help the giant grin that spread on his face.

“Yeah,” he said, his voice as soft as the first gentle rays from the rising sun. “I know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, and for every kudos and comment! They give me inspiration to keep on writing ^^


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